Why sit on your ‘but’
The language we use when talking to our children is so important.
We can build their self esteem or knock their confidence so easily. I have been just as guilty as the next mom for not realising the impact of my words.
Imagine. You have worked so hard at making a lovely evening meal and your child chirps up ‘Mommy, I really enjoyed dinner tonight but …..’.
It hits you hard doesn’t it.
That moment the ‘but’ crosses their lips. Your heart was so full of joy and then boom!
You see ‘but’ cancels out everything that was said before and I am sure you can think of many times this has happened to you. I certainly can, and not just from the kids.
As parents we need to remember to sit on our ‘buts’.
- Well done, your bedroom looks so tidy but what about making your bed?
- That is a lovely picture you have painted but now you need to tidy up.
- Thank you for washing your plate but you could have done some more dishes.
Changing that one word can affect your child significantly. Using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ shows your child you are happy with them and that they are getting things right without any downside.
They will feel happier within themselves and more confident and willing to try things as they won’t feel like their best is never good enough.
Shift your focus to want they are doing right and leave the rest. The more we focus on the positive the more we will see the positive in our life and in our children.